I was reading a New York Times article called "The end of Courtship?" http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashion/the-end-of-courtship.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
This gave me a slew of thoughts and comments, as this article discusses the downward spiral of courtship and formal dating into " Hook Up" culture. Is it true that we ( 20's 30's and younger) have lost the art of dating? It goes on to mention text messaging and social media as a contribution to the decline. Maybe i was raised a bit old fashioned but Random Hook Ups, just do not seem to appealing to me.
What I have found lately in speaking with friends, family and strangers is lack of expectations and therefore accepting anything.
This article speaks of text messaging " hang out requests"
If this type of thing was unacceptable, then how can it happen.
I find newer generations ( including mine) accepting anything from men ( and women, but this article is mainly for women)
Here are my dating tips to keep the courtship alive in 2013
1. Know what you want and stick with it.
If you are looking for the type of guy who will open the door, give you flowers, and take you to dinner
Make it known
and those who walk away .... they simply didn't make the cut. Those who stick around might have great potential.
Too many times i hear people waiting for their guy to change, you cannot change anyone. The principals your relationship begins upon will not change, so start off on the right foot in the direction you want it to go.
2. Be clear about your expectations / Do not settle
This seams to be a very muddied concept now a days no one wants to seem like that girl who wants to rush into things and it seems like people get wrapped into a situation where they become " weekend hook up" because you never defined the relationship or your expectations. It is very hard to go from weekend party girl on Sunday night to Regular steady relationship. It is like a lasting first impression. With this i believe the old saying stands "The kind of girl that you can take home to mom/mama". Is your behavior reflecting that girl? If you are looking for a serous relationship date accordingly and do not be afraid to say so. The Men who are not looking for "anything serious", will not change their minds after an evening rendezvous.
3. Don't be Obsessive
Its one thing to call and say Hi after a first date, its another to call and say ( in the Stewie voice) " Hi, Hello, How are you, Am i going to see you again, Can i see you today, I like you, Can i see you tommorrow"
Don't be that girl that gets talked about on Facebook. Have some old fashioned poise, or modern day cool, or even as they say a little " swag"
4. Have Fun
Dating is still fun, don't over think your every move to the point that you are writing topics for conversation. But the nature of dating itself has always been to asses someones suitability as a partner ( by definition).
Meet/greet/talk/and have fun.
Sometime in 2013 i will come out with Part 2 ( So you've dated in 2013, now Relationships in 2013)
What is your take on new age dating as the New York times portrays it?
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